Author: Cheryl Wirtley

Gratitude

Cheryl Wirtley4 Comments

Happy Thanksgiving. This is the time of year we give thanks for all the good things and blessings in our life.  The more grateful we are, the more good things will come to us.

Set an intention that you want to be grateful, and give thanks each day. You will find that your heart will fill with love and gratitude.  Some days it is difficult to find gratitude.  If your body is hurting, you may only be thinking about the physical body.  Try thinking about the mind and gratitude.  

The practice of being grateful will give you perspective, and a feeling of love and kindness towards others.  It will change your focus from thinking about the pain or the shaking to feeling joy in your heart. Your spirit will be lighter and you may not feel the pain.  

I must admit that I do not practice gratitude as much as I should.  I have a gratitude journal, and my goal is to write in the gratitude journal every day. Today, I am grateful for my family and friends, because they bring me joy and support. I cannot imagine a life without them.

Have a happy Thanksgiving. Wishing you peace and love. 

Accept Today

Cheryl Wirtley1 Comment

Today,
accept where you are.

Feel and notice,
How your body is
Moving or not moving.

In this moment,
This day.

Accept your body’s feelings,
Uncontrolled or still.

Embrace the movement
Shaking your limbs every way.

Allow yourself to surrender.
Acknowledge the pain.

Accept the awareness within.
Even if it breaks your heart.

Accept the sensations
Even if forceful and strong.

Accept the changes
With grace and compassion.

Breathe.
Surrender.

Let it be.

SLEEP

Cheryl Wirtley2 Comments 
Tired of being tired 
Wake up every day
Check my feelings.
Check my body. 

How do I feel today? 
How does the body feel? 

Am I well? 
Am I rested? 
Am I shaking? 
How do I feel? 

Many mornings, 
I am tired 
Sooo tired. 

Remaining for the morning, 
Sometimes the entire day. 
I don’t know why. 

Finding it hard 
To do anything, 
To exercise 
To think 
To reason. 

Sleep 
That is all I want. 
Sleep all-day
Sleep all night.


Each night 
I wonder, 
Will tonight be the night.
Will I sleep 
Or stay awake? 

Tiredness. 
Affects me all-day 
No desire to do anything. 
No desire.

Taking sleep for granted. 
Please, just let me return 
To the sleeping days. 

Frustration rising inside me 
Please let me go back.
To the days before 
I had this disease. 

What to do 
When I am so tired? 
Do I fight to continue 
Do I rest? 
I need a way through. 

Sleep must come. 
It is essential to life. 
Not enough sleep,
Affects everything. 

Thinking stops, 
Moving feels like 
Walking through the mud. 

SLEEP. 
ALL I WANT IS TO SLEEP! 
Please may I have peace tonight 
And a good night’s sleep.

Looking Back

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I have had Parkinson’s for 7 years now.  I was diagnosed in July 2014.   I will never forget that day.  That was not a good day.  I went to see a Movement Disorder Specialist a month later.  In the beginning, I learned about the medicines and worked with my doctor to find the correct balance of medications.  It took at least six months to get the symptoms under control.

Now, I look back at the seven years and a lot has happened.  I  was employed until I became ill in 2019.  Then COVID hit in 2020, throwing me into unknown territory.  I was adjusting to staying at home and my husband was adjusting to my being at home.  Then, there was the pandemic.  None of us knew how to handle that.

Recently, I experienced some minor progression in my symptoms.  This has caused me to look back at the last 7 years.  My Parkinson’s symptoms varied over time. Sometimes, I think that all my hard work and exercise will keep all the symptoms at bay.  It’s hard to accept that they will keep changing.  I do find that exercise slows down the progression of the disease. It does not stop the symptoms from changing.

I share all this to encourage you to exercise.  Exercise will make you feel so much better.  When I am feeling at my worst, I  exercise.  I go for a walk, dance, practice Zumba, or yoga.  It absolutely makes me feel better.  My symptoms lessen or completely stop when I exercise.  That is so worth it!  

Parkinson’s is definitely a journey.  The path forward is unknown, and every day is unpredictable.  Isn’t that true for everyone?  I try not to look ahead and worry, so I have a goal to live in the present moment.  That is all we really have.  

All I know for sure is that exercise is the key to a healthier life, no matter who you are or if you have a disease.  Exercise makes you feel better, look better, and slows down your Parkinson’s symptoms.  I know that you too can do this.  Get up and move! 

Celebrate!

Cheryl Wirtley6 Comments

Today is my celebration! One year ago, during the world pandemic, I launched the Inside Parkinsons website. 

I recall the feeling that morning as we launched the site! There was excitement in the air.  I took a risk, and I believe it paid off. I didn’t know how people would respond to my blog posts. I wasn’t even sure I could come up with enough to say for a blog post.  As you can see, I have plenty to say, and all of you have been so responsive to my posts. 

I started this website so that I could help people with Parkinson’s.  

In 2014, I was diagnosed with Parkinson’s. I was in shock for several months. I think everyone goes through shock and denial when first diagnosed.  Early on, I started exercising and discovered that it made me feel better. I could even miss a dose of medicine if I were exercising. That was amazing! I researched articles and webinars about Parkinson’s. I am a retired Librarian, so this came naturally.  

In 2017, I met Chris Gaffney from Parkinson’s Support & Wellness. We began conversing, and the next thing I know, I’m starting a support group.  I named the group Working with Parkinson’s because I was still working at that time. Today I see our group as working through our Parkinson’s journey. Most people in the group are retired.  I learned that I had a gift and could share information about Parkinson’s with others. People were very responsive to what I learned and shared.  Our group has survived COVID by meeting on Zoom. We’ve become a great group of friends, and I’m so happy to meet with them each month.  

My Parkinson’s Doctor approached me in 2018 about giving a talk at the Sunflower Revolution Symposium. I agreed and spoke to a large number of people.  I shared my story and talked about exercise slowing the progression of Parkinson’s. I did not know it then, but that presentation was the catalyst for this website and any lectures or talks that I have or will give in the future.

I realized that I had something to say, and I wanted to encourage people to exercise and move. I was amazed at how much exercise can make you not only feel better but stop or slow down your Parkinson’s symptoms.  

Now, we move to the end of 2019. I was recovering from a year of illness and adjusting to being retired. COVID hit in 2020, and I was getting ready to host a large retirement party, but unfortunately, I had to cancel because so many people were becoming ill from COVID. I did not want anyone else to get sick because they came to my party.  

I participated in a Vision Board workshop with Melissa Kirkpatrick in June 2020. My vision came to life when I met her. I knew I wanted to reach people and share what I’ve learned about Parkinson’s.  Our discussions led to the decision to create this website. Building a website would help me spread my message and be an information source for future speaking engagements.

In September 2020, I launched the website with the help of my husband and Melissa. That was an exciting day.  We got up early and dressed for the occasion. We watched as family and friends responded with great enthusiasm. The website has expanded this year beyond family and friends. Several of my blog posts are on the Parkinson’s Support and Wellness site.

Every other week, I write about a topic related to Parkinson’s or any current issue on my mind that refers to people in general, not only those with Parkinson’s.  

Last winter, I discovered my gift for writing poetry. A poem entitled Living Inside the Body, which I quickly wrote, felt like a gift, and I published it in February 2021. I continue to write poetry and hope to post more on the website.  

Now, I am looking ahead to see what my future holds.  

The website has become a part of me and is a great avenue to share my thoughts and ideas. I look forward to expanding the range of this website and reaching more people.  

I am sure I will be writing more poetry, and I am currently working on a program for the spring on Healing through Journaling.    

If you have an idea for the website or have a question, you can comment through the About page or message me on Facebook,

Thank you for your continued love and support.  

Choices?

Cheryl Wirtley1 Comment 
Many years ago              		                                               
He made a decision.				

Never realizing 
The weight it would bring.  

Guided by feelings,
Anger and disbelief.

No, this could not happen
No, not to me.

In an instant, he decided
Not knowing he did.

Forever he is changed.
His decision remained.

Did he decide not to fight?
Was this out of his control?

I observe how his one decision
Took him down a path full of stone. 

His body is failing.
His spirit is low.

What would have happened
If things were turned around?

Would he be free from the chains 
His body smothered him in?

I want to ask him
what he knew that day

Was he aware
that his body would betray?

Did he know the agony ahead?
Did he know he would never be free?

Did he know,
That disease would rule his life?

Did he know,
There would be much suffering and strife?

I want to ask him
About that day.

The day he was made aware,
That his body would betray.

He was not given a choice
Life just made him that way.

Gratitude

Cheryl Wirtley1 Comment

I have been feeling particularly grateful recently. Most of my family live far away, so I was happy when we recently had a family gathering. I feel so grateful that they all are a part of my life. There are a lot of us and we crowded into my niece’s new home. I am grateful that she was willing to host our family gathering. We had a good time and were glad to see one another again.

Gratitude is a mindset, a way of looking at life. When you practice gratitude your spirits will lift and you will gain a new perspective. During a gratitude meditation, I notice that my breathing slows down; I become calm and my attitude toward life brightens. It is a personal goal to feel gratitude for the good things and people in my life.

Jack Kornfield is a buddhist monk who has taught meditation since 1974. He is one of the key teachers to introduce buddhist midfulness practice to the West. He has a lovely meditation on gratitude. https://jackkornfield.com/meditation-gratitude-joy/

Try meditating on gratitude. See if it doesn’t make a difference in your life.

Today, I will be grateful for the life I have been given and live in the present moment.  I am grateful for the blessings in my life. Namaste.

Swimming

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Today, I decided to go for a swim at the YMCA.  It’s a new part of my exercise plan.  I was at the gym by 8 am.  Swimming felt good, everything about it felt wonderful. My arms and legs gliding through the crystal blue water. I was aware of how my body moved through the water.  How high to keep my legs up, which way to breathe.  It was quiet. A peaceful quiet.  At that moment in time, I was free.  Free to think, free to feel.  Free from Parkinson’s, free from any troubles or worries. Just me and the water.  Gliding through the watery space.  

When I was swimming I thought about the Olympic athletes.  Each swimmer moving their arms and legs, pumping, pulling, moving at their top speed.  Each person striving for Gold.  I pretended I was an Olympic swimmer, hoping to win the gold. I don’t know if I swam faster, but it felt amazing.  I imagined that I was driving my body, racing toward the finish line. Of course, I won the Gold!

When I went home, I did have to take a short nap.  I find a 20-30 minute repose is all I need to restore my energy.  Swimming wore me out, but it was gratifying.  I woke up refreshed and was ready for the rest of the day. 

That night I experienced a deep sleep, unlike any other night. I slept about 7 hours and had a very deep night’s sleep. HALLELUJAH!  I  only woke up once and slept for several more hours.  This experience causes me to believe that I need to work out intensely and with intention every day.  This will give me the sleep I need at night.  It’s a bit of a bummer because there are days, I do not want to work out, or I am simply tired. I am discovering that exercise is the key to everything.  

Internal Movements

Cheryl Wirtley2 Comments 
Inside the body, there is movement,
Movement you feel.

Seeing consequences,
Due to lack of dopamine.

Maybe a tremor,
Maybe slowness,

Maybe the body freezing,
Maybe shuffling feet.

Exercise is the secret,
Living with Parkinson’s.

Make big movements,
Reach far, stand tall.

Never understanding
Swinging arms, giant steps.

Until now. 
A wave of sensation 
Traveled through my body.

Today, I felt and understood.
I perceived a new awareness.

Internally, I sensed,
The body curling in upon itself.
The body folding over ,
Squeezing the organs, the muscles
Holding on with all its might.

Internally, the body urges you to be still.
Trying to take hold of your movements.
Trying to make you freeze.
Trying to stifle you.

The internal draw of Parkinson’s is strong
We can be stronger.

We can move.
We can walk.

We swing our arms high.
We take long giant steps.

Walk tall.
Swing your arms.

Stand up straight.
Walk with a bounce and lift.

Resist the desire to slow down.
Counteract,  the drive to be still.

In the stillness, there is no movement.
Without movement, you become a statue.  

Just keep moving.
Combat the internal tug.

Make a pledge to keep moving.
Defy the desire to be still.

Yes, the fight is difficult and long.
This is the battle we must soldier on.

Our struggle, our journey
Must not be wasted 
Must not be in vain.

Blue Light

Cheryl Wirtley2 Comments

Did you know that our cellphones, computers, and other electronics emit blue light and this blue light can keep you awake at night?  If you are having trouble sleeping at night, you may want to put your electronic devices away for the night.

The reason for putting away our electronics at night is significant. Blue light is emitted from all our cell phones and electronics. Humans were not meant to stay up all night, they should rise with the sun and rest in the dark. Now we have electricity, cell phones, computers, and televisions. All of these electronics expose us to blue light. This restrains the production of melatonin, which controls your sleep-wake cycle. If you interfere with the production of melatonin, you will not sleep well.

I recently had difficulty sleeping at night, partly due to looking at my cell phone.  I started a new practice which involves stepping away from the electronics two hours before bedtime. This has turned out to be enjoyable because I spend that time relaxing, sitting outside, reading, or doing a jigsaw puzzle.  I am sleeping much better and some nights, I even sleep through the entire night. Love those nights.

Good sleep hygiene is a common practice to help someone get a good night’s sleep. I intend to carry out the steps for good sleep hygiene from now on.  Part of living with Parkinson’s is that you need to be disciplined and consistent.  When you go off your routine or regimen your symptoms return. It’s unfair, but that’s how it is. It takes determination to do the necessary sleep hygiene routine needed for a good night’s sleep.

Here is an article by Harvard Health Publishing about the blue light being emitted from electronics. That blue light literally is keeping us awake. If you look at your cell phone at night you are throwing your circadian rhythm out of whack. If you are having trouble sleeping, you may want to evaluate what electronics you are looking at two hours before bedtime.